“Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nit-wit…”
My son wanted to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer today–a whole month after Christmas. As Rudolph and Hermie were waxing prophetic about their misfitedness, I found myself feeling like I needed to escape my own, small, snow-covered town (which is decidedly not snowy and, in fact, a 50-degree-winter beach town, but work with me here!).
Once a week, Bear and I head to the local library’s story time. Beside the fact that I’m still finding my way into this new stay-at-home mom role, I often feel like I have nothing in common with the other moms. I am an admitted eavesdropper (how can you not eavesdrop when your son is looking at Richard Scarry’s Giant Book of Words for the 57 millionth time?), and some of the things I hear make me reel:
“[I decided not to breastfeed] for selfish reasons. It’s just so much work, you know? And I knew I could bottle-feed her anywhere.”
“Do you want to go to McDonald’s? It’s his special treat–library, then McDonald’s…”
“Let’s go get a doughnut, now, okay?!”
“Honey, I don’t think that boy has ANY INTEREST in Strawberry Shortcake.”
The Strawberry Shortcake bit was actually said in reference to my son, who was sitting next to a girl reading the Strawberry S. book, to which I replied nonchalantly, “Oh, he probably doesn’t know the difference! He just sees a brightly-colored book and thinks it looks fun!” However, the other two statements…oy.
Am I being judgmental? Damn straight.
The anti-breastfeeding remarks dismayed me so much that I posted about it on my Facebook wall. The McDonald’s quip also makes me sad. I understand doing something special with your child, absolutely. We all like to have special outings. But why does McDonald’s have to be the reward? Why can’t it be a special fruit, or a book (um, from the library?), a treat you make together, or, gosh, ANYTHING ELSE. Why reinforce the idea that McDonald’s, or doughnuts, are to be coveted as prizes–jewels in the crown of a beautiful childhood? The more I see parents fall to the commercialism of our country, the more I realize that, yes, I am a misfit.
I don’t fit in.
AND I DON’T WANT TO.
Where do you fit in within the circle of parents in your community? Do you find that your parenting decisions make it hard on you or your children?
Misfits unite!!!
Oh I feel the same way ALL the time. I try to only give my son organic foods, fresh foods (when possible)… and NO TV (for now). My friends either dismiss it, or make little comments or try to argue why THEIR way is okay (I don’t judge them, but they get me into conversations where they want me to “judge” what they are doing in order to defend what I am doing).
So… yeah, I hear ya – I feel the same way when I hear parents saying/doing these things. Sigh. It’s hard but I just keep going with my way
I always feel like a misfit at mom things for those reasons and an additional few – I’m certainly not a teen mom but I’m a really young mom in comparison to most moms there in their 30s (I had my daughter at 24). And I’m poor. If anyone asks for parenting advice, it’s always met with the biggest and best (and pricey) new gadget that can help. Baby can’t sleep? Get a MamaRoo. Want to be more active? Buy the $600 stroller that’s a must have. I can’t join them on any outings because I can’t pay for the activities.
Mandi, I’m sorry you’re not finding your tribe. We ended up moving to an area with more parents and I feel like it’s easier to find those that have a similar mindset. I’d balk at $600 strollers, too!